First Fast

Today is the 14th. I am going to fast from food today. It has been a really long time since I have fasted. I don't think I have fasted since I was in high school. Too long! I pray that I can begin to get a clear answer and some hope as to what Craig and I are supposed to do. Are we really supposed to adopt? Are we supposed to just be sponsoring a child or a group? Should we be supporting a couple who are trying to adopt and need help? I don't know. All I know is that I have a desire in my heart that only God could have put there. I just wish I could do more now. We have so much debt and I just can't see an end to it anytime in the near future. I know how expensive adoption is. If it takes us 3-4 years to pay off our debt, then we have to save money to adopt...it is going to be a long time before it happens. I want to adopt now. I want to make a difference now. I want to do this while my children are still young. But I guess this is not about what I want. This is about what God wants and about what he has planned. God teach me your ways. Help me to know you more through all of this. Help me to discover what you have called me to. Open Craig's heart to all of this. Give him the same desire and longing I have for a child who needs a family. Please make us one on this, we need to be on the same page. If this is not his desire, take this desire from me, Lord. Give us peace as to what we are to do. Help us to do your will and not mine or his. Open our children's hearts to know what we are to do and help them to be receptive. Help us to teach them how you have adopted us into your family. Thank you God for adopting me! I am so undeserving! You are awesome, Father.